Hello there. Well, what an interesting weekend. Described in one word, I would have to go with "frustrating". Frustrated because once again I came to the realization that partying all night is no longer a favorite pastime of mine. Frustrated that my school workload did not miraculously complete itself. Frustrated about anything and everything to do with the opposite sex. Tie those all in together and I do believe I've got myself quite the little predicament. Perhaps one shared by many students who attempt to mix some semplance of a social life with the completion of a degree. Of course these problems are entirely fixable, entirely of my own creation, and entirely lame and insignificant compared to, well, just about anything happening out in the real world.

An easy solution would involve something as simplistic as more dedication to school, less time spent procrastinating, but in today's glitsy, glamorous world oh how easy it is to whittle away ones time. The computer houses the biggest store of time-wasters; e-mail, IMing, the addictive facebook and myspace, iTunes, and of course, blogging. Then there's lunch dates with friends, shopping dates, movie dates and tv dates - everyone wants to do weekly ANTM's and Grey's. The beach calls, the pubs beckon; random, endless fun is a rampant problem when living in a University town. All this and we haven't even mentioned the pinacle of temptation: the opposite sex. Ubiquitous, quite literally. At the gym I find myself desperately attempting to not sweat so as not to scare off the trove of males parading around the room. At the beach they throw footballs and kick sand and laugh loudly as someone retells a Dane Cook joke and I forelornly attempt to study Socratic dialogues 5 feet away. They are at the grocery store staring and smiling and seductively picking up fruit. At pubs and clubs its one beautiful specimen after another, prancing around, their insatiable desire oozing along with the latest Axe scent. Worst of all is in the classroom, where they are either preppy hot or jock hot or skater hot or professor hot, and its all you can do to consentrate on Globalization and the WTO. But of course your prof is married and the preppy one lives with his long-term "gf", the jock is a 'playa' and the skater is eyeing up the perky blonde in the front row. Your girlfriends have boyfriends, whose guy friends drink too much/smoke too much/slut around too much. Couples are EVERYwhere and even if they are threatening each other within an inch of their lives you still wish it was you because makeup sex is better than anything you're currently NOT getting.

So, needless to say, slightly frustrating. Do you stop trying to weave the social into the studies? Do you go with the "I don't have time for a relationship," plunker down into the groove of homework, homework, homework and occationally have a good cry over The Notebook? Or do you quietly, subtly keep your eyes open, stealthly evaluating each potencial prospect, whilst juggling school work and friend time and family time and precious, precious alone time.

The later sounds only remotely more appealing than the rest. Lets call it a solution and run with it.

fallin' into the abyss

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. A few dips and dabbles in this pseudoworld of Bloggering and here I am taking the plunge. Curious, this blogging experience; I find myself wondering, even as I type, who will read, and thus, for/to whom should I write? I have no intention of releasing the url into the real world - to be judged, questioned, mocked, pondered, whatever. Not into the whole self-exposure thing, more like avoid it at all costs. So, for myself then? An e-diary so to speak? Or perhaps more of a venting-venue, an avenue through which to release all the pent up thoughts circling my mind all day - those my self-regulator regulates. Although I've dreampt of verbal-confidence in class - that moment when I confidently raise my hand and spout perceptive proclamations - the day has yet to arrive and graduation quickly approaches. The problem isn't so much speaking aloud in general, but rather in large groups, where at least 90% of the people are guaranteed to know at least 90% more than me about any given topic. Friends of mine, one in particular who inspired me to write this blogg, would find this issue comical; imagine, not being able to speak your mind, pah! Please, oh please don't give me the, "who cares what people think," because I have a short and simple answer to that question - me. I wish I could talk myself out of it, take some sort of herbal remedy for it, or perhaps go back to the time when wearing Osh Kosh jump-suits and having big pig-tails sticking out the sides of my head didn't phaze me a bit...but alas, those days are long gone. For now, my remedy...so hip of my, a blog. A top-secret, classified, covert operation that only you and I will know about....Off to bed for now, laters